Local baby leaves father inside locked vehicle
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During yesterday's scorching heat, where temperatures rose to a high of 102 degrees, a Wichita Falls baby accidentally forgot his 31-year-old father in the car and left the father alone in the locked hotbox of a 2013 Kia Sorento. The baby, named Gunner because his parents thought that's cute for some dumb reason, is a 2 and a half-year-old automobile driving prodigy who was making a quick grocery run at the Wal-Mart on Lawrence Rd around 3:37 P.M.. Authorities say that Gunner seemed to be intoxicated while carrying a "beer bottle shaped" drinking bottle and seemed to have "a difficult time walking properly". After Gunner had entered the Wal-Mart, he forgot to bring his father in store with him, which led one fellow shopper to discover him in previously mentioned Kia hotbox. The Good Samaritan, which authorities say her name is "I don't know, let's call her Lisa" stood by the locked car and called the WFPD to retrieve the sweaty father. When WFPD arrived to the scene, they immediately shattered all four windows of the vehicle "because it was fun", said Police Chief Bill Masterson. They then unlocked the car door and carefully pulled the father out of the smoldering hot interior of the vehicle where he was immediately replenished with 4 bottles of Aquafina water. The police waited for Gunner to exit the store and return to the vehicle. After 38 minutes of shopping, Gunner was seen carrying grocery bags filled with the likes of diapers, animal crackers, 12 cans of apple sauce and some sweet new shades. Authorities caught up with Gunner after he realized his negligence caused him to forget his father in the car. When the WFPD questioned Gunner as to why he forgot his father in the car, Gunner replied "goo gah gah, mama" followed by some airplane engine noises. The father has fully recovered since then while Gunner is currently serving a 10-day sentence of time out and 20 hours of "go stand in the corner" community service.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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