A STORM'S A COMING! Broward County Prepares for Sexual Deviant Genuis Convention
Monday 13 July 43324 Shares
Broward County Sheriffs Department has coordinated efforts with Emergency Services, TSA, and the Department of Homeland Security's Regional Office to prepare for what Sheriff Roscoe Muddock is calling "the worst thing to hit Florida since Hurricane Andrew."
Mensa® 'The High I.Q. Society' will hold its annual gathering in the city of Hollywood, Fl this coming weekend. Mensa touts itself as being an organization for the upper 2 in intelligence. Unfortunately, this brings with it an array of mental issues, social oddities, and gross sexual defilement.
Broward's modest population of under 150,00 will soon become what Mega Church founder and multimillionaire author Pastor Paula Whitey calls the devil's playground. "We are praying God raptures all of His beloved saints before July the 4th to escape this madness. They are all a bunch of atheist and agnostics know it alls doomed for judgment. "
TSA agents have been ramping up their efforts to process as many full body cavity searches as possible. Agents will be on full alert for the trafficking of hamsters, gerbils, and squirrels. It appears squirrels are the RAA (recreationally anal animal) of choice for a particular Mensa affiliated group calling themselves Firehouse or Hosers for short. They've already retained a native Texas woman who seems to be a ringleader of sorts. Agents are advised to be on the lookout of traveler wearing tshirts with any reference to 1980's popular culture, science fiction, space exploration, and comic book characters.
"We have advised our locals to stay inside as this curse decends upon our city. We all know what happened over there in Sweden!" Sheriff Mudduck closed with saying.