Local man accused of kid-napping

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James H. Patterson jr. , of Joplin, Missouri was rested yesterday after a long investigation. Several people tried to catch him in the act of napping as a kid, which proved harder to do than was first thought. Said one witness "it was always hard to catch him in the act because the slightest noise would alert him and he would bounce right up and proceed to be hyper for several hours afterwards". His defender spoke briefly to this claim and simply stated the wish that this whole claim would be laid to rest.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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