Presidents to be Removed from United States Currency and Coinage in 2018

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8/15/17 Washington D.C. ~ The Treasury Department announced today that George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Alexander Hamilton, Ulysses S. Grant, and Ben Franklin all of whom were slave owners, are to have their faces removed from all U.S. bills and coin currency. In total 16 of the first 18 Presidents had owned slaves, their names are being removed from the history books and any statues or monuments of them will be destroyed or turned into “safe” places with rainbows and unicorns. With the current politically correct atmosphere and lack of safe places, the government felt it necessary to make this move. The images on the bills and coins will be replaced with Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Al Sharpton, Rosie O'Donnell, and of course Snowflakes. It was further announced that since 41 of the 57 signers of the Declaration of Independence were slave owners that it be made null and void and the United States revert to being a Colony of Great Britain.

To make all people feel safe, especially millennials, the Justice Department is proposing that all history books printed prior to 2000 be burned and any mention of history prior to 2000 never be taught in school.

LATE BREAKING NEWS: The Social Security Administration announced it will now recognize “snowflakes disease” as a pre-existing illness, and will pay for prescription marijuana and cuddling.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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