82 Percent of Brass Players Have Above Average Sized Testicles - New Research Shows.
Tuesday 18 February 24044 Shares
Research scientists at the German University of Nordwende published quite amusing results on Wednesday at the congress for Humanistischenebenwirkungenderblechblasgewohnheiten in Cologne. Apparently, after measuring the physical attributes of no less than 238 willing brass players (trumpeters, trombonists, tubists - no horn players) it was found that 82 percent of brass players measured, had above average sized testicles.
"It was not research directly associated with the primary goal of measuring lung capacity but we decided that this measurement may have something to do directly with the choice of instrument and also the ability to function in a testosterone laden environment" reported Dr. Dagmar Esslinger. "We didn't get any response of agreement from female players but the male respondents seemed most willing to be measured. Parallel research with monkeys had shown that those with smaller testicles were louder and more confident in groups and we are currently evaluating a cross species correlation".