BREAKING: Wisconsin Dog Found To Be Evil, Not Cute

Monday 06 April 75934 Shares

BREAKING: Wisconsin Dog Found To Be Evil, Not Cute

Following many tests and interviews with those closest to him, scientists can now conclusively confirm that Jordy Mattmiller, a dog whose exact breed is unknown, is indeed both evil and not cute.

“He’s a very rotten dog,” said Brennan Mattmiller, a Madison twink who has known the dog for some time now. “Just so rotten.”

While studies have now conclusively proven that Jordy is evil, others remain unswayed, including the dog’s mother, Lori Mattmiller.

This is a breaking story. More information will come.


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