Drew Carey's secret love child revealed

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Los Angeles-An unnamed woman has alleged in court documents filed today that she had a brief affair with comedian and current host of The Price is Right, Drew Carey in the late 1990's resulting in the birth of a son.

It is believed 20 year old Cesar Nunez, a San Diego resident and habitual drug user is the alleged offspring of Mr. Carey.

"I don't see a resemblance." Nunez told reporters standing outside his apartment heavily intoxicated and shirtless wearing the same dark rimmed glasses as his alleged biological father.

"I am in no way responsible for the existence of or related to Mr. Cesar Nunez."

A rep for Drew Carey said in a released statement stating further:

"...I simply would not let such a monstrosity plaque humanity."

In court documents filed by Nunez's mother it alleges that Drew Carey begged the woman to have a late term abortion until at least 2004. It also states that as recently as this year lawyers representing Mr. Carey contacted Nunez and conducted a DNA test in secrecy revealing that Mr. Carey was in fact Nunez's biological father.

The court documents further state lawyers for Mr. Carey had Nunez sign a non-disclusure agreement in exchange for a six figure settlement, a lifetime supply of Vodka and Xanax, and the hosting job for NBC's planned revival of Drew Carey's popular improv TV series "Whose line is it anyways?" for which Mr. Carey did not want to return too.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Nunez told our reporter when asked about the allegations made in the court documents before he drove off in his brand new $85,000 dollar BMW to collect unemployment.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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