David Wriston Jr. caught in Sodomy act With Donkey

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David Wriston Jr. of Oak Hill WV was found passed out in a farm early this morning from loss of blood. When found, the seat of his pants were soaked in donkey seamen and blood. First responder Timmy King was first on the seen and stated "This has to be the worst call I've ever responded to. You never really know what to expect in this job, but this.... this is just sick. This man must really have some deep seeded issues to do this. When you first think of bestiality you think of the human performing acts on the animal.. not the animal on the human which is what we've had here today." When asked Wriston stated "This is the only time I feel love. I've had 2 or 3 skanky girlfriends but they always, always, ALWAYS leave me for some red neck. Dinky the Donky never lets me down and is always there for me to share love with." When asked when his lust for Donkeys started, he stated "Well I've done A LOT of nasty things to feed my addiction, so about 3 years ago I was asked to perform a donkey show for 2 pain pills and I had to find a way to feed my girlfriend at the times pill addiction as well so I thought to myself why not." He further stated "Something changed and grew inside of me that night and not just the Donkey meat. As Dinky was taking me from behind, I seen a look in his eyes. A look of love that I've never seen before. A look that told me, I have found what I've been missing." When asked what happened tonight that cause him to suffer the anal tearing and resulting in 26 stitches he stated "Things got out of hand when the lightning struck and startled Dinky. It was over after that." When asked if this injury would stop his and Dinkys relationship he stated with a rotten tooth grin "My mouth isn't hurt" Wriston is being held in Southern Regional Jails protective custody pod without bond.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.