LOCAL MANS EYES MALFUNCTION DUE TO CITY'S DRINKING WATER!
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I local man who has asked to remain anonymous was diagnosed today with a rare condition known as "musta-been-somethin-I-drank-itis". It causes the victims eyes to become permanently crossed, as well as really bad breath and sporadic hair loss in the genitalia area. The symptoms usually arise after drinking contaminated, overpriced, city tap water. Other patients have recalled the water resembling the taste of "warm urine" or "Mexican rain". No other cases have been reported in the area and the CDC are looking into the situation.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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