The Light Thief Has Struck Again

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A few days ago, it was reported that Michael Williams had broken in a countless number of homes to steal lightbulbs. People keep wondering how he's able to get away with it every single time. We well he's had a lot of practice when Williams, his brother, and other accomplices robbed Radio Shack numerous times. His brother who is wanted in 6 different countries for smuggling cocaine across borders, money laundering, and sneaking in a movie theater in Amsterdam, has never been found. Michael struck again last night when he stole every single lightbulb out of Albion college as security along with the Albion police department scrambled to catch him.
Though all put in great effort to catch The Lightbulb Bandit, the chase was pointless. Moving with the speed of light, Williams darted through every room.

We spoke with the last person to see Williams as he took the very last light. A student at the college, Macy Suggendicks. She stated that she awoke when she felt a strong wind. Williams zoomed through her room grabbing every light he seen. He then went to grab the very last light in the room. The light inside the microwave. He moved on to make his famous exit. Only this time he stood in front of the door with a light in his hand and "I'm Lit". And just like that, once again, Williams was gone.


It is said the every single cell phone within the college no longer has a backlight. Williams is a Tyrant. He needs to be stopped immediately.

If you have any information on Williams or his whereabouts, please contact Albion Police. Do not try to approach this villain.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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