Local derelict of monmouth county found
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After several months of searching,Matthew Reed or as some people in his neighborhood refer to as the skid mark kid was found at the local diner. When found police questioned his whereabouts the 31 year old simply said I went for a walk at night with my flesh light and got preoccupied for months. Mr. Reed described his erotic one man show that lasted nearly a year as and quote " taking the longest shit and reap the award". Matthew Reed as many know is famous for venturing in the wine making business with friend and business partner William Alexander with dirty Dick wine. As many know it was a failure when both men got alcohol poisoning.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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