Local man states his estranged aunt ate all his Halloween candy

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Nathaniel "Wide Thighs" Bowser went tricker treating with his dog Skimpy on Monday night where he received a plethora of candy from numerous house throughout the outskirts of New Bethlehem, Pa. Nathaniel stated he came home only to find out his estranged aunt on the floor drawing swastikas screaming "The power of Christ compels you!". Nathaniel was extremely frightened and ran to his bedroom with his soiled undergarments and dog behind him. Nathaniel believes his estranged aunt mystically entered his room at some point between 3:00 AM and 5:00 AM. All of Nathaniel's candy had been devoured from his previous nights binge. Nathaniel stated the only candy that remained was 3 KitKat's and a half eaten vanilla wafer with Elmers glue engulfed in it. If you have any information of the where abouts of Matilda Bowser please call 814-275-3238.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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