Local Man Soils Trousers in Chippy

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Local fishmonger Niall Connell was this week arrested for drunken behaviour after soiling himself in Star Kebab on Alfreton High Street. The soiled celebrator was last seen being bundled into as police car screaming "get your hands off my penis!" Police are calling for anyone who witnessed the altercation to come forward at the earliest opportunity.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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