IMMINENT COUP D'ETAT IN DUBLIN
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A disgruntled military are poised to seize power in Dublin as soon as the Garda Strike begins. Many military personnel are sleeping in their cars due to austerity measures imposed by the Kenny government, so they are 'already in situ', for a 'Blitzkrieg' or a prolonged siege of Leinster House, a military spokesperson has claimed.
According to our sources, the takeover of government is expected to be a largely bloodless operation as 'they are a bloodless shower of b***ards anyway' (sic).
Police withdrawal of protection services for the unpopular Kenny regime should see the rebels gain ground quickly. Labour Minister Joan Burton is rumoured to be secreted in an underground bunker at an undisclosed location in case of kidnapping. Former Taoiseach Brian Cowen has been seeking refuge in a wine cellar for 8 weeks now. Former minister Mary Harney has allegedly been detained by rebel forces for use as a human shield, but this has been somewhat of a pyrrhic victory, as the rations for an entire division seem to have strangely 'gone missing'.
Mysteriously, troops seem intent to advance on the midlands, cheering and singing
"We're all going to Kilkenny"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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