Out of Tune.
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Steve Nobbs has been given a lifetime ban from all establishments that host karaoke. Within seconds of getting on stage whilst on holiday in the Canary Islands, loud jeers and boos could be heard, when Steve's rendition of the Rod Stewart classic, 'Do ya think I'm sexy', caused people to spit out their drinks and stuff anything they could get their hands on in their ears. One person unwittingly put a small octopus in their left ear after misordering from the menu because it was the nearest thing he could get his hands on quickly.
"It actually drowned him out reasonably well," said Phil, a local who was out with his girlfriend. "Unfortunately, I could still hear him with the other ear, so I stuck a chip in there as best I could."
Steve had gotten quite tipsy on 3 pints of the local lager that comes free when you go all inclusive - and had also taken a few Swigs from a bottle of cheap wine won on a game of bingo that you play sitting around the pool, when he suddenly thought he was X Factor material.
Steve, who told us he was 25, but looks about 55, said that he loves singing and couldn't quite understand why he was ushered off stage quite so swiftly.
"I'm a Chelsea fan, and I even offered to sing 'I'm forever blowing bubbles', with a few word changes, but for some strange reason they said no. They quickly got in contact with as many drinking places as they could and told them not to let me anywhere near a karaoke machine."
It is now understood that every bar in the world has a picture of Mr Nobbs with a warning not to let him sing or near a stage. The resort did offer him a complimentary jager bomb spritzer if he promised to behave for the rest of the holiday. Of course there are no guarantees of that, but we can confirm that he has stayed away from karaoke since his official ban.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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