Woman Finds the Love of Her Life in Norfolk Zoo
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Nov 7th, 2016-- Looking for a love story better than Twilight? Well, Mallory "Kim the Rhino" Reid (25) says she found hers. For three years now she's returned to the zoo in Norfolk, Virginia everyday to see her lover. His name is Sidney the Rhino Statue and his love for Reid is stronger than everyone else in her life.
"[Sidney] listens to me, ya know? Like it's so hard to find a man that will actually listen to you. And he never changes when he's with his friends. A lot of men say some pretty terrible things about their girlfriends or other friends just for some laughs. But Sidney isn't like that. And he would never say he'd grab me by the pussy. He's such a gentleman, in the bed and out. His dream was to be an actor, but after working here he fell in love with the place and decided to stay forever. But we still reenact scenes from some our favorite movies like 'Titanic' and 'One Night in Paris'."
Reid says Sidney proposed to her and they are planning the wedding on her birthday next year. It will be a public event and the zoo fully supports it. They will even be selling rhino merchandise for half-off that day as well as entering the zoo will be completely free.
"Mallory has become a part of our family," says manager, Sycamore Lily (38), "In fact, I see her more often than most of my employees. I'm happy for the two of them. I never thought Sidney would find love in a place like this. And he's great with kids so I wish the two of them the best of luck."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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