Man Training For Marathon Using Unusual Method
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A man from Middlesbrough has decided to take up training for a marathon after deciding being a lazy shit wasn't rewarding enough for him.
Karlos Mellin, a huge One Direction fan, decided he wanted to complete a marathon after he got out of breath from just thinking about a Golden Fry parmo.
He recently took it upon himself to start training for his first marathon but after not getting desired results in quick time he wanted to try and find a quicker method and that's just what he found.
We asked Karlos "What is this life changing method you've discovered in order to increase fitness levels?"
He said "Well, I tried everything that I read on Google and in WomensFitness but nothing was giving me the results I needed and I lost motivation to run, so that's when I wanted to find a better way to improve my fitness and after a bit of hard thought it just came to me! 'Why don't I try just running away from my problems?'"
Shocked at the response I just said "What..."
He added "No really! All I had to do was run away from my problems! Don't want to go to work? Run away! Don't want to go on Jeremy Kyle to find out if the babies mine? Run away! Don't wanna tell my neighbor I've just drove over her cat because it was doing my head in? Just fucking leg it!"
Police are now searching for Karlos Gump after been informed by the elderly woman who lives next door that she hasn't seen her cat in a week. It is presumed that Karlos is the reason behind that.
Karlos managed to lose 3 stone in just one month! Everyone knew he had problems but no one knew he had that many.
He may have lost 3 stone but if he's caught he might just gain a prison showers relationship with a guy called Jerome.
You can run, but you can't hide from Jerome, Karlos.
Article by Lucas Shepherd
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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