LOCAL DERBY MAN HELPS DRUNKEN MAN FIND THE TOILETS
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LOCAL HERO PATRICK ANNABLE OF DERBY DID A JOB WELL DONE LAST SUNDAY AFTERNOON AFTER HELPING A FELLOW DRINKING PARTNER FIND HIS WAY TO THE TOILETS. " ANT WALLIS WAS DEFINATALY HALF COOKED AND HAD NO IDEA WHERE THE BOGS WERE " PATRICK QUOTED , SO FRIEND IN NEED AS PAT WAS, LEAPT TO THE RESCUE AND ESCORTED HIM TO THE NEARBY PUB TOILETS TO RELIEVE HIMSELF. PATRICK SPOKE OF THE ORDEAL SPEAKING OPENLY AND CANDIDLY ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE, " WELL TO BE QUITE HONEST !! I WAS JUST OFF TO BAR MYSELF WHEN I TURNED ROUND AND SAW ANT STRUGGLING A BIT,, IMMEDIATELY I RUSHED TO HIS ASSISTANCE AS I THOUGHT HE WAS ABOUT TO COLLAPSE.. THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT ACTUALLY , ALL HE WANTED WAS THE TOILET. IV,E KNOWN ANT MANY YEARS NOW AND SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE TELL TALE SIGNS SOONER, BUT ON THIS OCCASION , I WAS A BIT CONFUSED. ANYWAY , I IMMEDIATELY TOOK HIS ARM AND LED HIM TO THE NEARBY BOGS ,WHICH INCIDENTALLY WERE JUST AROUND THE CORNER NEAR THE BEER GARDEN. AFTER THE NEAR URINAL DISASTER, ANT QUICKLY COMPOSED HIMSELF, STOOD UP AND WALKED OUT ,MUCH TO EVERYONES RELIEF. SINCE LAST SUNDAY, ANT HAS N,T TOUCHED A DROP SINCE AND IS CONTEMPLATED GETTING MARRIED. PATRICK SINCE THIS INCIDENT HAS NEITHER SPOKEN NOR BEEN SEEN SINCE.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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