BREAKING NEWS: Local Bay City man arrested for licking windows
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Local bay county resident Michael D Schumann has been incarcerated in the Bay county jail for allegedly licking presidential candidate Brandon S Moll's windows on his 2007 Duramax. Schumann has pleaded "no contest" on his alleged charges. Moll agrees to drop the charges if Mr. Schumann agrees to mow molls lawn and clip his toenails for the next 13 years. Schumann stated "this is absolutely ridiculous, there was some strawberry jam on the window from a biscuit bmoll threw out the window, and I was simply cleaning it up for him" Schumann is scheduled in court tomorrow for killing me for making this, so we will keep you posted on any developments in this story, so please stay tuned.
-Kyle Whaler reporting for "yeah it's true news"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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