Milk Banned For Being Too White And Not Politically Correct
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After a petition was started on January 4 earlier this year, the petition to ban milk has reached 473,500,019 signatures and is being made official - milk is being banned from supermarkets due to racism.
Petition starter Phemi Nisst had this to say about the situation:
"I am so glad that milk has officially been banned from supermarkets. It's hugely offensive because of the fact we have white milk but not Asian milk or Latino milk."
When asked about what petition Phemi will do next, she said this:
"I would like to shut down Gillette due to the fact that they do not sell [beard] shaving cream for woman. Woman have facial hair too, and that must be respected."
Phemi claims that she will get her followers on the website "tumblr" to support the petition - but farmers have different ideas.
A group of 274 farmers held a protest at Straiton Shopping Centre in Edinburgh as the ban on milk means that they can no longer profit by milking cows.
The leader of the protest, Chris Philips, had this to say about the ban:
"People don't realise that by doing these kinds of things, they're throwing away people's jobs. Everyone has to be happy with everything or it's not allowed, and it saddens me that our society have sunk this low. Damn people getting triggered."
Theresa May refused to say how she felt about the matter, but an insider claims she is going to attempt to make the petition go worldwide.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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