Colchester local wanted on suspicion of indecent exposure
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The scantily clad 23-year-old of Appleton Mews, Colchester, was seen flashing and revealing himself to members of the public in regions of the Colchester area, including the notorious Hilly Fields area. The Colchester local who cannot be named for legal reasons was sighted at various locations during a 9-day period.
One eye witness who attempted to intervene gave his account of the ordeal:
"I see a tall, skinny white male wearing nothing but a large trench coat, skulking around the bushes on his own. He was pacing back and forth, waiting for people to turn up. I was curious to what he was doing. I kept an eye on him from a distance as I was weary of what he was up to. A family of 4 then came up on the other side of the field, adjacent to where this guy was standing. As soon as he noticed them, he ran after them whilst opening his trench coat and baring what I assume were his genitals. The family were in disbelief and attempted to run away but the man was persistent and continued to jump up in their faces, baring his naked self to them. I was absolutely shocked and horrified. I attempted to run after him and intervene in the situation but he saw me coming and ran away, I followed him and caught up to him. I went in to tackle him and take him down but he was all oiled and buttered up and I simply could not grip his oily body. He then dropped his trench coat and ran into the bushes. That was the last I saw of him".
Authorities wish anyone with any news to this to come forward and contact them as soon as possible.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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