ICE agents detain illegal canine
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In the early morning hours on Tuesday, March 21, ICE agents were called in by New London Animal Control - there was a distrurbance in the quiet neighborhood of Chapel Drive in New London, CT.
A neighbor heard a fight between a native Coyote and Renzo. Renzo came to the US on a temporary visa and has been residing with with the Vendetto Family. His visa expired over 12 months ago. "Listen, I've been in this neighborhood for 10 years, I don't need my neighborhood junked up by this illegal dog" said the Coyote. The coyote is sick of having to fight with the illegal domestic dog for squirrels and other small animals. "I have a family to feed" decried the coyote, these guys have a family harboring them and feeding them food they buy at a store! Life on the streets is too hard to have to compete with a domestic illegal". The coyote is referring to a second dog that has been accused of being illegal also living in the Vendetto household. "You can't prove it, there's no other dog" says homeowner and dog owner Wayne Vendetto.
"The animal control officer is out to get me, she only called ICE because she doesn't like me" Vendetto and the AC officer have a strenuous relationship that goes back years. "She's always trying to pick up my dogs, they've done nothing wrong. They're good dogs, sometimes they have minor infractions like getting out of the yard and pooping on neighbors lawns, but they've never physically harmed anyone." Part of Vendetto's defense of his dogs' behavior is their own political views "they're libertarians, they do what they want and don't think government has a place, including the pesky AC". Vendetto also criticizes the AC for not doing something about the coyote "he's the real threat in this neighborhood, he thinks he owns the streets and has no respect for the typical wild animal vs human relationship. Let's remember he attacked my dog and that's why we are where we are now". A witness did see the coyote attack Vendetto's dog and that is in fact why the illegal status of the dog was made apparent.
Renzo will be expedited back to Aruba and will not be given a court date. ICE agents told reporters that they will be keeping a very close eye on the Vendetto's to find the other dog.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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