Donald Trump Announces Big News at CFNI Opening Rally.
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Sources say President Donald J. Trump will briefly announce his newly appointed role as the new Director during commencement speech fall of 2017. His speech at Opening Rally will be set for the fall semester and has stated "Big changes are gonna occur, and it's gonna be HUUGE!"
Trump will hold a special brief meeting with advisors about dress code, new food options ($$$steaks) to feature in the campus cafeteria, new locker rooms for male fellowship , & relaxed dating rules and procedures before taking office. Ivanka and the First Lady Milenia Trump allegedly discussed future plans to redesign interior and exterior dormitory complexes Mary Martha and Agape.
Trump states "If you take a look at what's going on with our alumni divorce rate... the statistics are reaallly bad. I mean so bad. It's a mess!!! A total disaster!!!" He adds: "Students and staff are putting on pounds every semester. You know it, I know it. Total carnage. We will sue Golden Chick -that I can tell you!" His polls have been shown favorably among single men stating: "I am gonna make CFNI campus great again, and we will make history restructuring the GLT with our new Chick Fila restaraunt." When asked to comment on the upcoming changes the staff did not respond.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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