SILVER ALERT! Local Freeport man missing

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Mr. Shuey was last seen wandering towards Walmart on highway 26 in a tattered red robe and slippers. He had an Old Milwaukee in his hand and was waving at passing cars. If seen please do not approach him as he may flee and injure himself, call the local police. $10 reward for information leading to his safe return

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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