Haircuts Linked to Longevity
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Researchers at IU's School of Tonsorial Science have discovered a key link between haircuts and aging. Dr. Elvis Greitzy today announced the results of a three year study involving over 400 subjects.
Said Dr. Greitzy "The results didn't surprise our researchers, for we have long suspected that one of the secrets to aging was the number of haircuts that the test subjects had. This test has confirmed the Royal Swedish Phrenological Institutes more limited study published in 2012. "
"So there can be lingering doubt - the more haircuts you get, the longer you live."
Males and females age 20 to 80 were monitored carefully, and it has been concluded that the older populations had definitely had more visits to the barbershop or salon.
Details of the study will be published for peer review in the ASTSQ (Association of Tonsorial Science Quarterly) this fall.
Dr. Greitzy notes that his next major research project will be to correlate hair color and pleasure reception in the undergraduate cohort.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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