New law requires newborn infants to be registered on facebook.
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The brain child of Ken Stevenson, creating facebook accounts for all newborns will help government agencies like the CIA keep tabs on citizens. The rational is simple. Most young people will eventually have a facebook account. By assigning one to each person in the USA is just another way to keep track.
The government plans to use this to streamline other processes, such as taxes, and DMV, saying, "it will greatly reduce time, and save money in the long run. Government officials have been working with Facebook inc in order to implement this new process in the best way.
A recent poll suggests that most new parents to be are for this new law, sighting that as much as 92 of all parents to be liked the idea, while 7 were not sure, and 1 declined to participate.
The question has been raised, "what about those who are already born before this law goes into effect?" The answer says Ken Stevenson, "It has been a long time practice to have children's fingerprints taken in kindergarten. We simply enroll them on facebook along with that.
What about those who just decide not to use facebook, or make a new account? "Once this law gets into full swing, eventually the ability to register on facebook will go away, as there will be no need to register. There by eliminating that issue of making another account. As for not using it.. Well the mandatory chip implants that rolled out 3 months ago solves that issue as well" said Ken Stevenson.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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