Patton Residents In Dire Danger
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Patton residents have been exposed to high levels of radiation from an exposed tank which was discovered in Patton during the construction of a new Sheetz. Residents are being encouraged to leave immediately and are being transported by government officials to an unknown location to avoid exposing any one else. Side effects from the radiation include abnormally large dogs turning rabid and eating the testicles of their owners.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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