Florida Resident Decimates ARS Population
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Breaking: Pinellas County resident is under investigation for decimating the American Red Snapper population in Central Florida.
St. Petersburg native Liam Holden went fishing in the Gulf of Mexico on August 4th and returned with an unprecedented haul of American Red Snapp (ARS). This haul will most certainly cost more than the tackle and gas needed to find these fish. Liam is now facing fines up to $100,000 and a life time revocation of the privilege to fish in the state of Florida.
Liam Holden's parents are to thank for this coming to light. They posted a picture of their son on Facebook which is now going viral. Liam is pictured standing triumphant in front of the last ARS that were in the Gulf Waters. His expression clearly shows his lack of regard for the environment and the many local, state, and federal laws he broke. Insult to injury, Liam is only pointing to a Cobia in an attempt to distract the public from noticing all the ARS.
This investigation comes on the heels of the unfortunate shark dragging incident. Due to the shark dragging, FWC is now under great scrutiny to prosecute any and all violations of fishing privileges. FWC Spokesman Marc Pelletier believes Mr. Holden will become the poster child for over fishing and the death of a species.
The public outcry has been quick and loud. Local Captain and Guide Mike Hongo expressed his concerns for today's generation saying "Kids just don't appreciate the delicate balance we have in our gulf waters and their parents should be ashamed." Neighbor Matthew McNulty stated "If I were to ever use my boat to fish, I would be happy if I could get 1 or 2 ARS. Now that opportunity is lost, I will forever regret not using the fishing boat I purchased." Another resident, Rob Cramer expressed his concerns: "I don't fish, I can't fish, but I am trying to sell a Contender fishing boat. My concern is that the price for my boat will drop since nobody will have the ARS to find and catch."
Charges are pending further investigation of the Holden family social media accounts. The FAA has already been alerted to his father's account. Apparently, Mr. Reed Holden was never given a license to fly his chest through his unbuttoned shirts.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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