CELEBRITY DIES ON BEACH
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VERO BEACH WOMAN DIES IN UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCES.
Monday 8/7/2017 Vero Beach Gazette
Although Vero Beach police are not yet calling it a murder, the circumstances surrounding the death of Rachel Yustermann, 7823 of Colchester Avenue, Vero Beach are being investigated.
Said Vero Beach Police Chief David Curry - "It's not every day that a person drowns in two feet of water in the middle of a crowd of at least a hundred people."
At approximately 2:15 in the afternoon, Jaycee Park lifeguards Thatch Tanny and Elena Rojas noticed what they described as "an excited party of dozens - maybe hundreds of people jumping and laughing and dancing at the waters edge." Upon closer examination they found the body of Ms. Yustermann in the middle of the throng. The two lifeguards then attempted resuscitation, but Ms. Yustermann was pronounced dead by Indian River County Hospital staff at 5:47pm.
EMT driver Hector Armano spoke with Gazette reporters - "No, we really did try to get to the beach as quickly as possible. I mean when we were called, who knew?"
Mr. Armano may be referring to the fact that Ms. Yustermann was a noted national celebrity. Her fame came from her role in marketing as 'Rachel from Cardholder Services.' As such, MS. Yunkermann was familiar to virtually every living American.
Police Chief Curry also suggested that the drowning may not have been accidental. He stated - "So far we have dozens of people who recorded some or all of the incident, but seem not to recall any specific details, and deny that they were there. The cell phone videos show so many possible suspects, that it would be difficult to identify any one individual."
Others were less veiled. One beachgoer, who asked to remain unidentified stated 'Yeah when I heard that Rachel from Cardholder Services was on the beach, me and my friends went to the car to get our baseball bats. But we was too late. and she was already dead when we got there.' Another person noted that although he didn't do anything, he and his whole family were at the beach, and their hands were already wet and nobody could prove anything. This person, his wife, children, and parents, chose not to be identified.
Vero Beach Police will push the investigation though. A spokesman for Chief Curry (who delegated the press conference to his Community Affairs Department's Second Assistant to the Watch Adjunct Assistant) stated 'We'll get two of our best detectives, or at least two of our better detectives on it as soon as they get back from vacation, and have cleared up the troubling spate of missing cats.'
The final word on the incident may be up to the Indian River County Prosecutor's Office. Deputy DA Sharon Carlton did comment for the Gazette. 'Try to indict someone for the death of Rachel from Cardholder Services? Well, maybe, but...' She did not finish the sentence.
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