Dollar Store Closes; 99 Cent Store to Blame
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The Dollar Store in Florence, KY abruptly announced it is closing after being a staple of the community for eighteen years. Reached by phone, owner Robert Knightly expressed his exasperation. “In 1999, the Dollar Store was a groundbreaking idea. It filled a need in communities like this across the country.”
The Chamber of Commerce blames the 99 Cent Store that opened three blocks away in May of 2016. “We just didn’t see this coming,” said Knightly. “They completely shattered the market. I mean 99 cents, really? Who could have ever anticipated it?”
Data from the US Commerce Department has been tracking the shift. “It has changed the economy in a way we haven’t seen since refrigeration,” said Commerce Deputy Diane Musgrove. “Truly a paradigm shift.”
Rumors that a group of California venture capitalists are exploring a chain of 98 cent stores were dismissed by Musgrove. “It’s unsustainable. Congress would have to step in to prevent a total economic collapse.”
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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