Neighbors start petition to remove resident
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What once was a quite and quaint neighborhood has turned seemingly violent and neighbors have joined together to petition the county for resident removal. Neighbors are frightened by a young man terrorizing the Brooks Ln area. Reports of gun shots, stalking, thieft and more have been reported by residents. One eye witnesses did come forward with information about the young man/men sneaking on properties not belonging to them. One elderly woman told reporters that she was washing dishes and suddenly saw a man outside of her window dash furiously across her yard. Could there possibly be an angry uncivilized mountain man on the lose? Is it possible that the man has become disturbed due to free radicals. We are asking residents in the area that may come in contact to exercise extreme caution. Residents are also told to keep animals and small children close and keep doors locked after dark. Anyone with information is asked to contact infectious disease control. One county hospital told meteorologist Jenny Ledermier that contact with this mountain man could result in a life threatening illness. Red swollen molecules under the skin become infected and will could cause mental disturbia, which heightens the senses in the sexual organs, causing painful erections and uncontrollable spasms in the testicular area. Please be advised that an ongoing investigation of this bizarre nuesience will be extensively investigated. Anyone with information about the situation is advised to contact associates with any and all information. Any person knowledgeable of the where abouts, is incouraged with a cash reward to anonymously report any sightnings of this "mountain man"The investigation will be ongoing until further notice.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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