Prince Albert Police Report Stabbing Incidents Down 50 Percent Between 11:58 and 11:59 AM Daily

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November 3, 2017 - Prince Albert, SK

Police in Prince Albert, desperately trying to spin bleak crime statistics into something positive, reported this week that stabbings are down 50 percent between 11:58 and 11:59 AM each and every single day.

Police Chief Troy Cooper, twisting a tourniquet on his thigh at a press conference held safely within the confines of a City Police Jail cell, remarked that "A 50 percent decrease in criminal stabbings really shows progress in terms of us coming to terms with the reality of stabbings that may or may not be terminal". Chief Cooper then immediately passed out from blood loss due to a stabbing in his thigh that had occurred at 11:57 AM and could not be reached for further comment.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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