Chris and Rich Robinson To Settle Things, “Once and for all”

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In a stunning move, Chris and Rich Robinson, brothers formerly of the Black Crowes, have announced plans to get the Crowes back together.

According to Chris, “we finally, ya know, realized that the cosmic bond between brothers is just too much to deny.”

Reports say that the two brothers will have a tickle fight in a public square in their hometown of Atlanta to determine which brother will gain controlling interest in the band.

“If Chris wins, expect the ‘new Crowes’ to have a very spacey, pseudo-Dead vibe,” Rich said. “If I win, we’ll go back to being a rock and roll band that brings people joy.”

Sven Pipien, Marc Ford, and Adam “Ham Hands” MacDouglass are all rumored to be included in the revamped version of the Crowes. Notably absent is long time drummer and current Fox Sports Radio personality Steve Gorman.

“Chris is a dickbag,” Gorman said. “I have no desire to join that sinking ship again. It’s only a matter of time before the results of the tickle fight are called into question and they inevitably split again.”

Possible replacements for Gorman are rumored to include a holographic John Bonham, Neil Peart, and Bill Dubrow again, for some reason.

This is a breaking story. Check back often for updates.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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