Did Dan Newton kill Barack Obama?

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Back in 2011, Senator Barack Obama was forced to chug 2 gallons of bleach, killing him in his home in New Orleans. After 5 years it seems, finally, that the killer has been found.

Quarterback Dan Newton was found with 18,000 pounds of bleach in his possession.
"I just wanna die." Said Newton.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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