NEW REPORT: NEARLY HALF OF ALL U.S. ADULTS HAVE IQs BELOW 100

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 48723 Shares

Florence, Ky. Nov. 26, 2017. Half of all U.S. adults have IQs of 100 or less. That’s according to a new report released today by Pearson PLC., the I.Q. test publisher. Outside of professional circles, the company had not previously revealed how poorly Americans fared on the test.
Around Kentucky, there was strong disagreement over who is to blame.

Senator McConnell’s office blamed the poor showing on President Barak Obama and his administration. “Congress should investigate why they let this happen. They had eight years to do something about this but look at the mess they left behind. It’s disgraceful.”

Congressman Massie (R. Ky.), who attended the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology, argued the report was irrelevant. “It doesn’t matter if your IQ is 75 or 125,” Massie said, “if you’ve got an AK 15 and plenty of ammunition.”

Charlie McCarthy, a spokesperson for Governor Mike Beavin, also dismissed the report, calling its findings exaggerated. “This is being sensationalized,” McCarthy told Breaking News. “Most of these people work in Walmart, McDonalds or some warehouse. How smart do they have to be?”

“Governor Beavin was a successful businessman,” McCarthy said. “He feels it’s time we stop judging schools on how their students and graduates do. We need for-profit schools. We need to judge schools strictly by bottom-line results. Do they make a profit?”

Carl Woodhead works as a tour guide at the Genesis Museum in Hebron. He also sides with those who take issue with the report. He points to the fact that thousands of students from Kentucky’s schools have visited the Genesis Museum and the Ark Experience in Williamstown.
“I’ve talked with many of those kids and their parents,” Woodhead told Breaking News. “There’s no way all those kids and their parents have taken that test.”

Gina Hoppenmad, the spokesperson for the Kentucky Educational Association, disagrees. Defending the report, she argued that the picture is every bit as bleak as the report suggests. “Look at Kentucky’s legislature,” she told Breaking News. "An IQ of a 100 or more is practically a disqualifier.”

“Frankly, I’m not surprised by the report,” Bev Bleedenhart, Deputy Chairperson for the state’s Democratic Party, told Breaking News. “Look at how Kentucky votes. We’ve got lots of people who depend on Medicare disability, Medicaid, and Obamacare. And yet they regularly vote for politicians who want to cut those programs.”

Mitt Poynt, Director of Testing for the Kentucky Department of Education, also says he’s not surprised by the result. “People familiar with the test have known for some time that the test is biased. People who are bad at certain things, like memory and reasoning, just don’t score well on the test.”

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    a monkey escapes from the miami zoo and throws bananas from a tree Mario a monkey from the Miami Zoo has escaped last Friday from his cage when he escaped, he threw bananas at people from all over Los Angeles. This has led to a video called "banana rain going viral" right now this little criminal monkey is found in prison.

  2. 2

    octopus teaches math at harvard They hire octopus to teach math at harvard, the octopus is called arnold and it is said that he is paid 3000 dollars per class. here are some images