Jim Carrey hospitalized after sticking penis in blender at Bed, Bath, and Beyond; says he wanted attention

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Jim Carrey, 55, is being hospitalized after allegedly sticking his penis in a blender at a local Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Carrey, who hasn't been in a film since 2014, was apparently showing unusual behavior. Some sources claim he wasn't making any of the stupid faces he usually makes, nor yelling random things at people or about items, as Carrey usually does. Some of the people claimed he was quiet, but kept taking items and bringing them in reach of his genital area. He would then make off gestures while holding those items as if he was planning on using them in some sort of sick, fucked up way. That's when he reportedly came across the blender and turned it on, leading it to slice the shit out of his shrimp dick. When interviewed about the incident, Carrey claims he did it for attention. He says "No one thinks I'm funny anymore. Like Jack Black is doing more movies than I am, and that fat, rolled up, piece of turd is even less funny then I am. Weird faces and loud yelling is funnier than farts and smelling like fuckin pulled pork. I even prayed to Morgan Freeman a couple times, hoping I could at least beat that fat fuck and be in another movie". Carrey underwent extensive surgery. Although the damage was critical, Jim Carrey will make a full recovery and make use of his new vagina.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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