Santa Clause...is dead

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Aged 1200 years old, Old Saint Nick passed away a few hours ago. He was sent some snicker doodles with a Christmas letter. We still do not know what the traditional Christmas cookies had in them but they exploded in his stomach not an hour later causing problems in his intestines. We are sad to say the reindeer were not quick enough to bring him to hospital. Looks like Rudolph won't be guiding anyone way on Sunday night. 10 million elves, 12 reindeer, mrs Clause and billions of people are mourning his death. Now we are all wondering something, which sick bastard could of killed the pride and joy of Christmas? We took Krampus in for questioning but he was clearly mourning him too. This is no joke. We have soldiers from all around the world who are trying to track down who could of done this, this is a serious crime that will result with life in prison in Russia, and we won't guarantee your safety, which is all you deserve you piece of shit. Stay classy everyone. Ron Burgundy out.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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