NELSON WOMAN NAMED MOST INSANE WOMAN IN CANADA
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A woman in Nelson BC, has been named Canada's most insane woman, and the least likely to be cured by any known method of mental health to date. Marie L Harkness, employee of Walmart Canada, has been known to expel methane from both ends of her body simultaneously, while consuming large quantities of Pear Cider and Cheezies. She is also known to smuggle large quantities of chocolates from all over the world, into her room, where a shrill gnashing can be heard from time to time.
Harkness has instilled such a large amount of fear in the community that appeals have gone out to politicians nationally to come up with a plan to contain this "contagion" threat, as people coming in contact with Ms Harkness suffer from a form of hallucinatory dementia, most possibly cause by the womans stories of her gaming in World of Warcraft.
Doctors worldwide are praising Ms Harkness's boyfriend, Mr Dale Dunphy, for the raw courage and empathy to take on such a virulent contagion, and many call for him to receive a Nobel Prize and recognition at the United Nations.
This evening Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will be addressing the public and attempting to calm the public, all the while moving the military into British Columbia, in what looks to be shaping up to be a battle of near armageddon proportions
:UPDATES TO FOLLOW
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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