Army Officer Humiliated in Duel
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Washington, D.C. - What began as a verbal altercation quickly escalated to an age-old duel between two Army Officers on Thursday at the Pentagon. Lieutenant Colonel Robert K. Tracy, 38, and an unidentified Army Special Forces Officer were scene in a verbal altercation that included name calling and finger pointing after Tracy complained about spending 75 cents more than necessary on a medium cup of black coffee.
In the fighting spirit of the Green Berets, the unidentified Special Forces Officer then challenged Tracy to a duel of honor. Tracy initially hesitated and offered numerous excuses but eventually succumbed to the challenge. The two paired off, pacing five steps before turning to fire projectiles at each other. While the Special Forces Officer fired his projectile in a fiery line at Tracy's position, Tracy clumsily tripped, tossing his projectile vertically into the air as he fell towards a nearby printer. Stunned at Tracy's lack of courage in standing his ground as is required in age-old dueling rules, the unidentified Special Forces Officer sought to end encounter. Humiliated and dejected, Tracy cried "This was a tie! This was a tie!" A bystander, on the condition of anonymity, explained "the Colonel simply lost his composure. I've never seen such a terrible display of ineptitude and lack of athletic ability." Another said "the SF guy should've finished him, right then and there." Tracy was unavailable for comment.
This is an Associated Press report.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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