Munster Home Values get "Shanked" by Rusty Blade
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Despite a higher trending GDP and lower unemployment numbers, home prices are projected to fall sharply in one sleepy Northwest Indiana town and residents are already feeling the pain.
Jimmy Cheepsoot, a leading real estate sector analyst from the firm "May, Kit & Up" projects that Munster home prices are expected to fall an average of 117 percent over the next three years due to changes implemented by one of the towns major realtors. "Hey, all you's know you can't be mixing up the shanks wit da Ho Ho's (sic). Before you know it, kids are getting all gopped up on sugar and stabbin grandma for kicks. That reflects poorly on home valuation." says Jimmy.
Jimmy's comments refer to a recent report that the iconic Munster Little Store will now be offering knifes in their stores. When asked for details of his valuation methodology, Jimmy's response was "What? You tryin' to be a wise ass?"
"This is sheer madness!" says Eric Knight, a concerned Munster resident. "You can't go mixing knives and Twinkies. Ain't nobody got time for that." he said, waving his arms frantically, eyes buldging. "We already got a problem with gangs of outlaw fox in this area. Once they get the knives, all jacked up on Jujubes, who knows what will happen. This is sick. Sick I tell you. F_cking Trump is behind this! I know it!!"
BreakingNews247 reached out to the Munster Little Store, who gave the following comment. "Are you going to buy something or not? (pause) Why are you just staring at me with that mic pointed at my face? (pause) For crying out loud, what do you want? I'm calling the police."
Submitted by Kyle S.
For Breaking News 24-7
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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