22-Year-Old Marble Man Goes Amish

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A known Marble man, Markus Slater, 22, was allegedly in his home on October 24, 2018, when he decided he was done with the electricity and technology he has grown up with since he was born at the age of 7 in Wales. He stated that things were much simpler back when he didn't have to shave or "dick around with the Jetta". He decided that the only solution to get rid of all his problems for once and for all was to turn Amish and never go back. Today, you can find him still tampering with his Jetta-turned-buggy, shaving, and using every bit of electricity as possible when he feels the need to. He also enjoys yodeling, petting his horses, and filing for divorce from his wife, Ally, a 7 month old kitten who is also a recovering heroin addict.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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