Franklin Senior Holds Hands with Longtime Girlfriend
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Donald Ross Tappin III, a varsity soccer player for Franklin High School, decided to finally make a move Saturday night. While sitting on opposite ends of the couch in his living room, still maintaining the required 5 foot distance between them, Donald reached his hand out to see if he could cop a feel of that juicy index finger.
"It was exhilarating," Donald said of the incident, "I had always wanted to know the touch of a woman, and it was the best 3 seconds of my life."
After Donald reached over, Breanna Atwood, his girlfriend basically since fucking eighth grade, looked back at him and made eye contact for almost a full second.
"I almost made an appreciation post for my instagram story," said Bre. "I was gonna do one of those things where it was one sentence but spread out over multiple posts because then I'm a better girlfriend than the ones who only post one picture because I posted more pictures so I'm a better girlfriend fuck you Maddy."
Seconds after the Incident occured, Donald Ross Tappin Jr. and Laura Tappin, Donald Ross Tappin III's father and mother, respectively, rushed down the stairs to interrupt the unholy occurrence.
"I was absolutely mortified," said Laura. "I though I had raised both my kids well. I sent them to the Benjamin Franklin Classical Charter Public School to make sure they could grow like a tree in the forest of virtue, but Donny is now but a weed in garden of sin. He will be severely punished."
Donald Ross Tappin Jr. had very little to say about the incident. "I'm disowning Donald [Ross Tappin III]. I love Robert James Tappin more.
Since Saturday night, Donald Ross Tappin III has been spotted multiple times attempting to find food in the Ichigo Ichie dumpster, and there is no word on when, or more appropriately if, he will be allowed to rejoin his family.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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