Jordan Craw "Found to be GAY"

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While most of us don't need to wait for a special day before we tell the world which side of the bed we like sleeping on – and who we want to sleep next to – 11 October is, traditionally, National Coming Out Day, a day to recognise the absolute nightmare-from hell milestone it is to come out as LGBT+. That rush of air you feel breeze past your cheeks is the force of a zillion butterfly wings, as an all-new, all-proud LGBT+ person emerges from the dark chrysalis of being closeted.

We’re taught, as LGBT+ people, not to seek approval from straight people and, largely, we try our best not to, but the cold hard fact is there are more of you than there are of us, so the coming out thing exists not only for us, but for you, so we can live among you without any more of those awkward questions, misfired jokes or well-intentioned attempts to pair us off with your straight mates that nobody else wants.


While coming out is pretty difficult as life events go, being on the receiving end of a coming-out confession can be just as tough. It’s the moment many LGBT people have been working toward for as long as they can remember, but for you, the glorious recipient of this most dubious of Oscars, it may well be totally out of the blue, and a big shock. I could tell you merely to “deal with it” or “get over yourself” but that isn’t helpful and somebody might really need you to be there for them one day, so let’s get it right.

So, if someone in your close vicinity who looks like they’ve been holding their breath for an hour stares you right in the eye and says “we need to talk”, there's a big chance you’re about to be at the epicentre of a coming-out. Carefully arrange some scatter-cushions, grab yourself a pint, consider laying on some snacks, and get comfy – you are not doing this alone.

Don’t say you always knew
Like your friend, the jury is well and truly out on this one. Some LGBT+ people think it’s OK if someone says they knew all along, that it’s reassuring and a relief and can speed the discussion along, trivialising the event, almost, but in a positive way. On the other hand, “I knew all along” can also take control of the coming-out away from them and make it about you. The LGBT+ person may have thought they’d successfully hidden it from you, and may have agonised over it and exhausted themselves with the effort. Telling them you knew all along, and that effectively this was a waste of time, may make them laugh hysterically at the ridiculousness of it all, or feel like they’ve failed somehow. So, it’s better to leave that one for now. If they ask you whether you had any suspicions, be honest, but say you hadn’t wanted to offend them by asking and that you’d assumed they were just working things out for themselves.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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