Local man cries to secret girlfriend after discovering his other girlfriend is having an affair

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 39772 Shares

San Diego-In the early afternoon hours Cesar Nunez could no longer hold it in after Katie asked him why he couldn't be "...more open to emotional intimacy..." for fifth time in one hour.

"I'm sorry I seem so distant." A coked out and emotional Nunez replied

"It's just I think Jamie-Lyn is having an affair." Nunez said unable to hold back tears.

Earlier that day while Jamie-Lyn was showering Nunez noticed she had received an awfully suspicious amount of DM's from the drummer of Indie Poptart.

"All those fucking dick pics!" Nunez cried out reportedly showing them to Katie.

Katie tried to reassure Nunez saying that maybe it was a total misunderstanding. That the drummer for Indie Poptart meant to send photos of his fully erect penis to someone else. Or that he was just a potentially dangerous and violent predator who enjoys sending unsolicited pictures of his genitals to strangers.

"Well, I guess that's possible. " Nunez replied "I mean Mario's dick pics end up in all kinds of weird places!"

To which an unidentified male stuck his head in the window and yelled

"Nikosami decides where photos of my cock shall infect and be displayed in the universe! I decide nothing!"

Nunez and Katie attempted to finish the last half of "The Vow" starring Channing Tatum but Nunez just couldn't handle that kind of psychological torture instead opting to let katie electrocute his nipples instead.

"Babe, I know you're really into this. But it's just a bit much for me. It's like...you should respect consent and let our relationship progress in a manner were both comfortable with." Our reporter observed a distraught Nunez explain to Katie after she attempted to resume watching "The Vow" on Netflix.

Later that day Nunez got dressed and explained he had to leave early. When katie pressed him for an explanation he replied:

"It's not you. It's just I don't fucking understand how Jamie-Lyn could lie to me like that!" Nunez said crying before he took a nice fat bong rip.

"I really loved her. We just spent my 21st birthday camping and doing loads of acid together. I really thought we were going somewhere. If she wants to break up. That's fine. But, why does she have to fuckin use me like that!" Nunez said as he packed a bowl for Katie "I'm always honest with her! God fuckin dam it!" Nunez yelled before reportedly punching a hole in the wall and licking it because he thought it tasted like orange taffy.

When asked if he wanted to grab lunch the next day Nunez reportedly told Katie

"Sorry, it's my daughter's birthday tomorrow. So me and the wife are gona spend the day at the beach with her. Good kid. Almost makes me regret not pulling out and spending the next 5 months ignoring her mother, claiming I was sterile. And then trying to convince Erin to have an abortion or else I'd cut her and the baby off financially thus forcing them to live below the poverty line." Nunez said chuckling "Erin says she has my nose!"

Right as he was leaving Cesar told our reporter when asked how he would cope with Jamie-Lyn's alleged betrayal, he said:

"Ya know it really fucking hurts. But, you just gotta keepin on, keepin on. Besides, I know my value and why would I wanna be with a self-absorbed narcissist like that?! Hun, we all deserve to be treated with respect, love, & honesty!"

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    a monkey escapes from the miami zoo and throws bananas from a tree Mario a monkey from the Miami Zoo has escaped last Friday from his cage when he escaped, he threw bananas at people from all over Los Angeles. This has led to a video called "banana rain going viral" right now this little criminal monkey is found in prison.

  2. 2

    octopus teaches math at harvard They hire octopus to teach math at harvard, the octopus is called arnold and it is said that he is paid 3000 dollars per class. here are some images