Local man carried away & dismembered by giant mutant insect
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San Diego-The day started off like any other for Mario Casillias, as he went and worked out in the nuclear waste dump. This time inviting his friend, Cesar Nunez along.
Nunez, had just returned from a lucrative job interview at an adult video store, Mario frequented.
"Mario, was that a fucking porn shop?!" Nunez asked Casillias who insisted it was just a normal rental video store like blockbuster as he walked out with several X rated videos.
Nunez also expressed concern about working out in a nuclear waste dump to which Casillias told him to stop worrying so much and that Nikosami was protecting him, before a large mutant fly grabbed Nunez, the large insect, whose DNA had been mutated by a half century of exposure to nuclear material, flew off with Nunez whose last words were:
"OH GOD! NO PLEASE! MARIO YOU FUCKIN MORON! NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS!"
"The last thing I saw was the fly secrete digestive acid on Cesar in a raw primal display of nature." Casillias told reporters
When asked if he ever tried to rescue Nunez Casillias replied it was Nikosami's bloodlust and that must be respected.
"Nikosami, provides and takes. She is one with nature. It was mother nature who decided that Cesar had to go and be disembolowed alive by giant mutant insects. We must respect the ways of the force if we ever truly wish to understand the ancient jedi way."
When asked why he was working out in a nuclear waste dump to begin with. Casillias, said he didn't know and proceeded to repeatedly ask our crew for ketamine.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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