Ithaca Teen Charged for Hiding Dildos in a Target Icecream Section

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This afternoon a local teen was discovered to have hidden four 10 inch dildos within the ice cream freezers of the Dewitt Mall Target. Jacob Lewenski, Target employee, is quoted to say “so we were checking through the Ben and Jerry’s and came across these gigantic f*cking schlongs stuck to the back.” Once employees had found said dildos, they checked security footage and within found the culprit to be 15 year old high school student Linnaea Kelly. As a first time offender and minor, only a small fine was given, but how may this be delt with in the future?

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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