Vatican Announces Bible 2

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 52511 Shares

One pillar crucial to any traditionalist lifestyle and or society is change, correct? False, traditionalists are traditionally not prone, and in some cases are immune, to change. However in this past week Pope Francis announced the release of, what he claims to be, the Bible 2. Our Vatican correspondents attempted to set up an in person interview with Pope Francis for the second time this year concerning yet another groundbreaking announcement. The Pope denied our request under claims that he was "fixing up something good for these heathens'', however he was open to a Zoom call interview early Wednesday morning. Over the phone, when asked what his reasoning behind releasing a Bible 2 was, Pope Francis said:

"I was shredding at the skatepark, trying to evangelize and proselytize the cool hip young folk while schooling some of these posers in a game of Skate, when some sore loser punk called out to me and said 'Oh yeah Poop Francis, if the bible is so cool then why isn't there a Bible 2.' I wanted to slap him on the hand, but I couldn't lose my cool in front of these squares, far be it from me; but I had to do something. Then I told him 'Well that's because we haven't released it yet."

Pope Francis then claimed every skateboarder within earshot instantly decided to become Catholic and asked me to be baptized. We then sought out how this announcement would be received by the other end of the spectrum and, consequently, went on to ask the late famed Physics Theorist Stephen Hawking, but upon further investigation, we discovered he had passed on. Since he was not available we then asked an atheist with the name Stephen Hawking, who stated:

"Wow. RIP Atheism"

Recent polls and studies show that Christianity has risen to 100, and seemingly overnight. However, some christians and Catholics who were believers before the Bible 2 had gone viral are skeptical about its contents and about what it might actually contain. Chris C. Christianson, creator and editor of Breaking Bible Blog, states:

"I don't get it. Why do we need another one? I always thought the Bible 2 was the New Testament or something."

We asked the Pope for his response to criticism from fellow christians, his response may startle you:

"It's the same Bible. We just called it the Bible 2 for the publicity and it worked. The only thing different is the name and probably the font."

It is scheduled to be released this fall.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    a monkey escapes from the miami zoo and throws bananas from a tree Mario a monkey from the Miami Zoo has escaped last Friday from his cage when he escaped, he threw bananas at people from all over Los Angeles. This has led to a video called "banana rain going viral" right now this little criminal monkey is found in prison.

  2. 2

    octopus teaches math at harvard They hire octopus to teach math at harvard, the octopus is called arnold and it is said that he is paid 3000 dollars per class. here are some images