Pope Takes Back Apology for Slapping Woman's Hand. " These Hands are Rated E for Everyone" Pope Francis Claims.

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To start off the tumultuous year of 2020, it was reported that Pope Francis had slapped a woman in the hand after grabbing him during a New Years event. The incident, which was also caught on camera, shows the woman reaching out to Pope Francis after he had redacted his hand from another crowd member. After catching hold of the Pope's hand, the woman forcefully yanked the 83 year old Pope closer to herself. The Pope, now visibly angry, attempted to pull his arm away; and when that did not succeed, he proceeded to slap the woman's hand at least once. The look on the Pope's face, after retrieving his arm and walking away, painted a clear picture of utter discontent; and the reaction of the victim of the slap matched the moments intensity in the form of sheer horror and unbelief.

After the video of the incident had gone viral, the Pope released a formal apology to the victim and her family. However, recently, the Pope had decided to recant his formal apology. Our Vatican correspondents were, once again, on the job in interviewing the victim and also interviewing Pope Francis regarding the incident and what made him decide to take back his apology. We asked the victim for her thoughts about the Pope's recent statement and for her take on what happened that fateful night. She recounts:

"Can you imagine the first thing happening to you in the New Year is getting slapped by the Pope on live television? The trauma that put me through was unbearable. I would file a lawsuit, but nobody will take the case! All they do is laugh! 'Hey, weren't you that moron who got slapped by the Holiest Man in the Vatican?'. Now he has the audacity to take back an apology when he wasn't even in the wrong."

The Pope's official statement was:

"The simple fact is this: these hands are rated E for everyone. Jesus was not a respecter of persons, so I treat everyone equally. Not only that, but people want to walk around and act like I wasn't out in these streets before I found Jesus. I decided it was gonna be me or my crew tackling that small lady, and my boys are big mafia dudes. I basically saved her life."

He also said:

"I'd scrap again if I had to. Tell her she can put her paws up if she ain't happy. I heard this song that said 'Try Jesus, don't try me. Cuz I throw hands.' and that's the law of the Vatican now."


More info to follow.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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