Local Deputy Gets Demoted
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Chilton - In a not so shocking turn of events Deputy Seabass was recently demoted for several wrong doings. Channel 34 news caught up with Seabass' supervisor who was quoted stating "We weren't really able to demote him, as he's currently at the lowest position at our department."
When we interviewed Seabass, he was of course carrying a whole box of cheezits. Seabass was visibly annoyed about the situation. Seabass tried explaining that he can't afford a lunch pail, so he puts his food in a box. This statement from Seabass was not confirmed and probably inaccurate.
As Seabass munched on his cheezits, in-between chewing, he explained he didn't feel he was fairly treated by administration. "All i did was take 3-4 lunch breaks per shift, and they were well deserved." Seabass felt that for every 15 miles he drove, he deserved a lunch break.
During the continued conversation, Seabass would randomly begin to stroke to the neighboring County to the north and how they are far more superior. "Dude dude dude, they get everything up there, including a 37 percent raise." We asked Deputy Seabass what he has done to deserve that kind of raise. After 19 minutes of silence (except for seabass crunching on cheezits) we told Seabass he could come back to the question at a later time.
We asked seabass about his future goals. "I like where I'm at, the only place I can go is up ya know."
We took a short break during the interview and went to Qdoba. It was very apparent Seabass was a local celebrity there. All the employees immediately began to make his order, as if they knew it like the back of their hand. "Yeah he gets pretty upset if his meal isn't ready quickly" said Qdoba manager. When asked, Seabass stated he heads to Qdoba 6-8 times a day. As we were watching him eat we heard his dispatcher state "Dispatch to 821..". Seabass proceeded to shut his radio off, look into our camera, smile, and say "821 never misses a meal."
Wise words.........from a wise man.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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