Gay couple ate my dog

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An investigation was launched yesterday after a man was found putting a dogs half eaten carcus in the bin.

Philip Philip otherwise known as Philip Adam 16 of south sudan Africa was caught stuffing the decomposed half eaten body of a pitbull into a blue recycling bin, when a concerned citizen noticed and called the police.

Officers arrived at the door of mr Philips residence in the gallowgate area at roughly around 7.46am around Friday morning, to descover a scene of panic.

Emergency services where called apon arrival after mr Philip answered the door and started to scream "help him help him" officers and paramedics rushed in and put mr Stephen lynch who is Philip Philips lover 16 of the shettlestone area into the ambulance and straight to Glasgow Royal infirmary. After having emergency surgery performed a small rodent (mouse) was discovered in mr Lynches anal rectile passage, mr Philip is quoted as saying "I never knew that mouse would go up that far honest to god" after police searched the home they discovered a fiver bit of pollen a cat in the microwave and 2367 photographs of mr lynches daily bucket routine on snapchat.

The mouse is thought to have died.

Police carried out door to door inquiries whilst forensics looked for evidence.

Another worstcunt pal of the couple Sam Armstrong 16 of fuck knows where said "aye I've known steg and Phil now for a few years, I knew they where into kinky stuff but a never thought they'd go that far"

A spokesman for Police Scotland said last night said that mr Philip is currently being charged with animal cruelty and will be sent back to South Sudan for other criminal charges, police also reaveled that mr Philips lover Stephen lynch will be permanently disabled and is also being charged with animal cruelty, mr lynches healthcare bill will not be payed for by the NHS as they do not cover injuries caused by sexual criminal activity.

A local citizen who only went by the name Robert is quoted as saying "they two have been shoving stuff up each other's arses for a while now it's auld news. I remember one time a had to set about Stephen in a park because he kept trying to touch me, mr Robert also revealed that mr philip has eaten more pet animals but claims he doesn't know where the body's are.

Stay tuned next week to find out

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.